I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
