All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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