You're my little dorito
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
