Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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