hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
