Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
