hotel room ftw
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
