you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
