He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
