Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
