Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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