I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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