Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
