Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
