Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize