it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
