There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
