my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Too much gin, very little bucket
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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