you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
