I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
