I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Pooping to opera.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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