my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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