we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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