I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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