he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
