it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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