But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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