It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
