Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
