Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
