it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
