Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize