Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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