im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
