There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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