Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
