im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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