Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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