She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
this hospital has no fireball
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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