I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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