wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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