The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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