I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
