Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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