i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
