yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
