Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
