There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
