I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
