i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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