the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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