Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
