i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
