This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
