Where are you?
In a non slutty way
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
