I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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