The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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