Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
