i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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