The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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