Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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