Yo dont text me then not text me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
