Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
